As mentioned early on in the interview, all of our kids are at risk for various dangers particular to youth of today. As a parent of two teenagers and working with youth professionally, it is imperative to inform myself on the techniques and tools I can utilize with successful results.
There were so many things that Mary Liciaga says in her interview that resonates with my experience in working with young people. You can have all the funding, and programs galore, but nothing compares to interacting with a caring, compassionate, loving human being. Having a person-to-person interaction is a crucial element to establish trust which is essential for any help to be effective. These one-to-one interactions take time in which patience and non-judgment are essential components.
To illustrate, helping youth work through their emotional issues, I make it a point to just listen to them when they want to open up and talk. To listen without judgment, or thinking about what we are going to say next, but really listen with all our awareness. is beneficial in itself. So many times we are too busy lecturing and giving advice that we forget how just listening to someone can make them feel safe. Some of us don't really know how to listen, and we have to start by learning to focus all our attention on what the person is saying without having our own personal conversation inside.
Another interesting point that was touched upon in Part Two was to focus on the strengths of the person or family, and not just focus on the "problem". Its so true that energy grows where attention goes. In other words, what you focus on grows, therefore, focus on what you have/do that will lead you closer to your goals or resolving the conflict. This technique at problem-solving seems to yield better results as it helps us be in the moment to dig, to our hidden talents which are our unique strengths, and relieves the mental fatigue of constantly focusing on the "lack of", conflict or problem.
Perhaps the most valuable bit of wisdom for me was the discussion about setting goals, meeting deadlines, and/or action plans. Sometimes, these plans fizzle out before they begin, because people may be in "survival mode.This means simply that we are needing to attend to our basic needs of nutrition, rest, and resources of support.. Survival mode needs to be acknowledged and dealt with before we can even begin to think about creating goals. To get out of survival mode, Mary has us ask 3 simple questions. Are you eating? How are you sleeping? and Do you see people? Getting into the hole and helping them answer these basic questions is the first step toward goal setting and creating a vision. This is an important step that seems to be generally overlooked and needs more recognition.
Reflecting on this, I would add that many times in my own life, I jump or fall back into survival mode, juggling the complexities of raising a family and working 3 jobs, with getting the right nutrition, enough rest, and surrounding myself with positive people. Maybe slipping back in survival mode a bit happens to all of us, but some of us know beforehand that this will eventually happen, and we know the steps to take that will help us get out of survival mode, and into creating the life we want mode. Its also important to remember that some people have only known survival mode as the only form of living. I would dare say most people in the world are living on economic survival mode, and the system is designed that way to keep us stressed and at the level of productive workers and consumers, but that is for another story....Yes, to some people, surviving is all they know, and the concept of setting positive smart goals may be new to them and need time digest.
Speaking of creating, Mary mentions working with vision boards, and I just got out my vision board kit I bought years ago. What are the chances of bringing out this kit just a few days before hearing someone discuss how they made one? When synchronistic events like this happen, I know I am on the right path with the flow of the Universe, and it fills my heart with gratitude and joy. I will be discussing what vision boards are and how we can create them in a future blog, but for now I'd like to finish by inviting you to check out the series for yourselves, and/or comment your thoughts, and what speaks to you.
I watched the same video. Great stuff. I also liked what you said about Survival Mode. So true.
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying your blog. Keep it up.
--Bob